Purgatory
by Icy.Moonlight
Summary: Between the living world and Starclan lies a place where the nameless and purposeless reside. Purgatory. A lone cat, ripped from his clan, roams this forest. And he knows that there is no way to escape...
1. Chapter One

I never realized how much I actually hated that girl until the day I died. She had saved my life and nurced me back to health, and I had still hated her. For everything she had done for me, I despised her with every fiber of by being. I don't know if she could tell. But something inside me says that she did. That is why she killed me...

She found me the day after the accident. That monster was coming too fast, but I was sure I could make it. I was on the edge of death, my body horribly broken, and she took me in. But the moment she placed me inside the monster which she rode, I knew the life that I had come to love was over.

She took me to this cold, stark place. It smelled strongly of fear. There was a twoleg there as well, a male. He prodded me until my broken body screamed to fight back.

But I could not.

I was put under, and when I awoke, I was covered in hard, white cloth. A large plastic cone encircled my head. I tried in vain to remove the foreign articles from myself, but the female would not allow this. She took me back to her nest. There, I was fed large, synthetic chunks of what was once meat. I was not allowed beyond her walls, forced to make my dirt in a small box filled with stones. I would yowl at the woman, but she would just laugh and pat my head.

I'm not sure how long it took me to heal. But when I did, the female allowed me to rome outside of her stone den. Only then did I discovered what she had done to me. I was no longer a male. She had castrated me. And even if I my injured legs would allow my to jump her fence, my clan would never accept me.

And that's when I lost it.

I did all I could to make this woman's life a living nightmare. Her arms were covered in deep scratched, and her den was riddled with broken pieces of her items. She would look at me with her sad eyes, but it did not matter to me. I would have rather died an apprentice, almost a warrior, that have become a kittypet.

One day, she took me to another dark and fearful place. The constant bark of dogs made my fur bristle. She exchanged words with another twoleg before I was taken away. I never saw the woman again. I was placed in a nest, dark and cold. Shimmering branches surrounded me. I clawed and yowled, but I could not break myself free. I was trapped.

Many twolegs came and poked their paws into my nest. And every time I would hiss and lunge at them. I never spoke to the other cats around me, but I watched as they were removed from their dens and taken away by twolegs.

I do not know how long I was in that prision. But I was eventually removed by a man. His grip reminded my heavily of the man who had removed my gender. I was taken to another room. This one smelled of death.

The man was quick though. I swift pinprick in my leg and a rush of fluids. I let out a weak hiss, but the man only shook his head. My eyes began to feel heavy, and I looked up at him with dangerous glare.

But I could do nothing.

My mind blanked as my body was distroyed. My insides churned, but I felt no pain; only the strong, sweet feeling of death passing over me.

/Starclan!/ I thought. /At last I come!/ But I was not greated by a fellow clan cat. I slithered through darkness, fear engulfing me, before I was dumped heavily onto hard rock.


	2. Chapter Two

_((Thanks for my first review, Swittail27!))_

Heat rose around me as I watched my body burn. The small room was dotted with the remains of other animals, but I only watched as my small, gray form turned to ash. Fear overwhelmed me. "Felledsky!" I called, hoping to hear my deceased mother answer. "Greenstar!" Not even the former leader responded to my call. If this was not Starclan, where was I?

My vision blurred and went dark. I awoke to find myself by the stream, where I was born. I was back in Skyclan territory. I could smell Redthorn, my mentor. I ran in his direction, only to find the territory border he had marked.

I felt my throat close. Where was I? What had happened to me? Why wasn't I in Starclan? /I must be in the Dark Forest/ I though, by blue eyes exploring my surroundings. I caught a glimpse of a white form in the bushes. Quickly, I darted after. And I found my suspicions to be true. It was my sister.

"Cloudpaw!" I called as I darted to her side. But she did not respond. "Cloudpaw, can't you hear me?" I chuckled and pressed my flank against her's, but my body fell through her. I found myself on the ground, looking up into her sad, blue eyes.

I yowled in frustration and fear. Standing, I swatted my gray paw at my sister's face, but found that it passed directly through her. My stomach knotted.

She could not see me. She could not hear me. She could not feel me. I was only a figment, only air. I hissed and cursed that woman. She was the one who did this to me.

I rested next to my sister, slowly forgetting my predicament. I watched her eyes as they passed between fear, pain, and longing. A red tom pushed his way through the brush and nodded at her. "Any news?" my mentor questioned, but my sister only shook her head.

"I found his scent by the Thunderpath," she mewed in her airy voice. "But no body." They were talking about me. They were looking for me.

"I'm here, Cloudpaw, Redthorn! Please!" I begged, but neither of them responded. I screeched and plunged myself into the brush. "I need to find camp," I said to myself. My paws took me where I needed to go.

Emerging through the brush, I found the camp partially empty. "Once the stream patrol returns, we shall go," came a voice behind me.

Another voice snorted. "I do not know why we continue to look for him. It's been over two moons."

I hissed. My life was over and it was all her fault. That woman, she caused this. I scratched the earth with unsheathed claws. I was starving and parched, but I knew I could not eat. I did not even want to attempt to retrieve a meal from the fresh kill pile.

I lay down in the middle of camp, my head resting on my paws. Around me, cats padded and played, ate and shared tongues. A few walked directly through me, but neither of us felt anything. My eyes closed, but I could not sleep.

I realized that my paws did not make contact with the ground. I was hovering. This was too much for me. I bit myself, trying to wake myself from this dream. But I could not feel my teeth on my skin.

Would this be my existence for the rest of eternity? I shuttered at this thought. And I resolved that I would visit Shimmering Stones.


	3. Chapter Three

The cave had been there for as long as I could remember, maybe longer than even our oldest elder could. Twolegs padded amongst the rocks, their shrieks irritated me more than when I lived. Or, maybe, I only had recently begun to hate them more.

Gray limestone was once my perfect camouflage. My mother would tell me stories of how I would hide amongst the pebbles as a kit and dart out at the passing paws of my clanmates. Maybe that is how I came to be known as Stonepaw. But she passed not soon after I became an apprentice; I was never able to ask her.

My icy flanks made no sound as I entered through the small slit in the rock wall. The raucous calls of the twolegs melted away, and I began to hear a ringing in my ears from the abrupt silence. Shimmering Stones has always been the most feared destination in territories, yet the most respected.

Glittering stones lined the walls, tiny two-dimensional diamonds refracted light from the outside. A larger stone at the end of the hall glistened from the thin rays of sun breaking through from a skylight above. Jagged edges scattered the light through the cave, and the blood from ancestors long ago remained in the crevasses.

"Greenstar?" I whispered. Maybe she would respond here. I lay down as I had only once before, my nose pressing gently onto the sharp surface.

I expected a cold pang to utter through my body, but none came. I pressed my nose to a different area, sharp pins pricked my maw but no blood came to the surface. It shocked me, though, that I could actually feel the rock. No pain, but I could feel it's silent power before me.

"Stonepaw…" came an airy, forced voice from above. I jolted up, once again catching myself on another jagged edge.

A lithe, tortoiseshell female hovered carefully over the spikes. Her eyes were glazed with a pale blue, and from the way she held her head, I could tell that she was blind. Her speckled fur, which I could tell was once beautiful, clumped in sickly mats around her flanks and stomach. Her thin demeanor came from her utterly malnourished frame. But for the life of me, I could not place her name.

The female smiled, showing her rotted teeth. "I'm glad you decided to come." Her voice was almost as rotten as her teeth. She chuckled, probably since my face held a horrible look of shock and disgust. "It's been quite some time since I called anyone by name."

"Who are you?" I asked. My voice was almost as desperate as it was confused.

She chuckled again. "I have no name. I died before I was given one."

I blinked twice before I understood. "You were… stillborn?"

"No, Stonepaw," She shook her head carefully. It seemed that it would roll off of her shoulders any minute. "I was illegitimate. I was left to starve as soon as I was born."

"But... You are not a kit... You..." I could not comprehend.

"In this place, you are not immortal. Though you may continue to see and think, your body will continue to age. Many a cat has wasted away until they can no longer move…" Her eyes darted back and forth as if they were trying to find me. I shivered as I thought about my body decaying before me, much like this female.

"And what about my body? Where is it?"

Her ears rolled subconsciously. "What did you see right after you died?"

"A fire," I answered immediately. I remembered how real the flames felt.

"Then you were burnt," she said matter-of-factly. "It is a good thing, too. At least you won't be attached to it."

Attached to it. I again felt those flames lapping at my fur, smelled the singe of fur and burning flesh.

I'm glad she could not see me heave. "I'm not like you, though. I was a clan cat."

She scoffed, "So was I, I was just not wanted. If we have no place, no name, we are thrown here."

"But I have a place!" I called. "I have a name! A warrior's name!"

"Yes!" she yelled back, her voice rough from such exertion. "But you _also_ have a kittypet name!" Her eyes narrowed. "The Dark Forrest does not want you. Starclan cannot take you. And no clan cat will ever find where the kittypet goes. Your soul is lost…" I hissed at her words. How I longed to rip out her mangy fur, to gouge out her blind eyes.

My fur still bristling, my eyes thin slits of disgust, I asked, "Are there more? More of... you"

"Yesss," she whispered. That final letter chilled my already frozen body. She began to carelessly pick her way down from the spiky crystal. "We are all doomed to walk this land between worlds, the nameless and I." She began to cough like her lungs would never be empty. "We are all trapped in this purgatory."

I began to feel extremely tired. "No, no wait!" I called, but her voice began to fade. "I have more questions!"

"Go now, Stonepaw. Sleep…" Her voice was so soothing. It almost seemed… mortal. My eyelids glued themselves shut. A sharp, high-pitched laugh filled my head, which startled me awake.

I lay in the Shimmering Stones cave, my bloodless nose pressed firmly against soft, painless spikes.


	4. Chapter Four

She had to have been a dream. I had fallen asleep. Yes, I had fallen asleep by the stone, as it should be, and spoke to someone from Starclan. There is nothing to worry about; she's gone now. No, she was never here. It was just my imagination…

But I then remembered that I can't sleep. I'm dead.

Her appearance still haunted me. I could feel her icy eyes boring into my brain. Or maybe that was just my imagination too.

I rested in the cave for a few days, trying to piece out this predicament. If I found another spirit, someone not insane, they could help me. If that female could speak to me, what keeps me from speaking to others?

As stayed in the cave, my frigged body tucked beneath the glassy stone, I could feel myself loosing hope. The aura around me seemed to seep with anguish, and the air chilled even more every day. I resolved to leave this cave, for I would never find any help here. Or worse: that she-cat might find me again.

The moonlight shone over the dew-laden grass. I was glad for the dark. I had been in there for so long that I had become accustomed to it.

A black figure caught my eye. I called out to it, but there was no response. It was a cat, no doubt. I followed it.

Its paw steps were abrupt, it's breath labored. It was afraid, but for what. As my sprinting steps slowed next to her, I realized that she held a small, dark bundle between her jaws. A kit.

I reached to her, my paw falling straight through her muzzle. The kitten mewed once, but the female tightened her grip on its head, muffling the call. The kitten writhed in pain.

With one swift movement of her head, the kitten fell to the rocks. Its head bled profusely. The female snorted once as the kitten attempted to squirm away. I could see that its back legs were mutilated with some sort of strange birth defect.

As I reached out to it, the mother unsheathed her claws. With a quick swipe, she ripped the kitten's stomach open. It shrieked in pain. "No!" I called, my voice in a horrible harmony with the kitten's.

The she-cat froze. Did she hear me? She turned her head towards me, but her eyes looked straight through my as if I was invisible. Which I was.

She turned back to the kitten, which had quickly bled out. Its lifeless body seemed darker in the pool of its own blood. The moon continued to bear witness, reaching out with rays of light to touch the kitten, though it only made the scene more gruesome.

The female snorted. "May Starclan have mercy," she mumbled and spat in the kitten's direction. Before she left, she took a pawful of the blood, smearing it on her face and began to mumble something about "dogs, dogs everywhere, I tried to save her." And with a quick glance around, she disappeared into the brush.

I prodded the kitten. Though my paw slit through her fur like the wind, I could feel something inside her, desperate to get out.

And so I stayed by the kitten all night. I did not sleep, mostly because I could not, partially because I felt responsible for her. How could I, though? I could not have stopped the female. But she heard me. She heard my call. I could have yelled again, but I was too afraid.

Afraid of what? That she would see me? I craved for someone to see me again. Maybe I was too embarrassed. I don't want to be known as the cat who was not good enough for Starclan.

I watched the kitten until the break of dawn. As the sun rose, flies began to swarm around her little body. I tried to shoo them, but I only managed to smack the kitten again. Why could I feel her but nothing else? I then heard the demonic voice of the tortoiseshell female again:

_Attached to it…_

I stayed by the kitten through the day. A few animals came by to sniff the carcass, but none took a bite. I was started by the few dogs that passed, teeth desperate to extirpate her tiny body, but the sharp tugs from their twolegs lead them away.

At sunhigh, though, a lone bird with a large wingspan and a pink head landed not far away. I looked away as its ravenous beak plunged into the carrion. When I looked back, I only found black fur and a few moist bones.

Her soul was nowhere in sight.

I hulled myself from the ground. I was amazed at how much I had aged in those few days following my death. I shivered when I thought of my body decomposing.

So I chose to walk. I walked through the forest, occasionally spotting a mouse or two. I walked through the rocky areas. I even ventured into twoleg territory, for there was now nothing to fear from them. I don't know how many days I walked, but I finally realized that I was bored.

I was bored in death. Lonely. But not scared. Why wasn't I scared?

I periodically called for the tortoiseshell she-cat. Since she had no name, I found myself calling her the "tortoiseshell she-cat".

But in all of my roaming, I never had the heart to go back to my camp. I did not want to see how they had all moved on…

It was maybe the eighth or ninth day of my venturing when I came across a small band of rouges. Or maybe they were only loners. Prancing between the paws of the adults were two little dark kittens, not even a moon old. Their mother was just as dark-furred, while their father held a brown tabby hue.

Their mother glanced at them and sighed as her mate padded up to her. "I heard more barking last night," she mewed.

"Not to worry, Nyx. I have not scented a dog for quite some time." He pressed his flank to her.

"I just wish I could have protected all of my kits." She sniffed and looked into his eyes dramatically.

He stared at his paws. "I'm still glad that you got away." There was real emotion in his voice. "I... I would rather lose one kit than to have lost you…"

Nyx purred, but the male continued. "We didn't even get to name her."

"Let's not linger on the past, now, Ignis. We still have these two. And each other." She shook her head. "Besides, with her deformities, she would not have lasted long anyways."

I did not hear the rest of their conversation; something distracted me. On the edge of the camp stood a lone, black she-cat. The fur around her stomach seemed to hang looser that it should, almost as if the skin had been pulled from bone. Her eyes held a look of intense sadness.

I recognized her immediately. My, had she grown fast.

"Hello? Black kitten?" I whispered before I could stop myself. I could have been mistaken, but I was sure I was not.

My voice shocked her into awareness. She looked completely horrified.

"You…" she mewed timidly. "You can see me?"

_((Man, it feels good to be back! And don't forget to review. I love to hear what you guys have to say!))_


	5. Chapter Five

_((Great Starclan! Between being busy and writers block, I completely forgot I had a story in the progress! So I'm sorry this one took so long. I'd like to say that this will never happen again, but it probably will. Anyways, enjoy!))_

"Of course I can see you…" I responded. Her body froze to the grass, her muscles tensed. I expected her to dart off at any time. But instead she leaped at me, claws unsheathed. I yowled as her claws sliced through my skin. A thick trickle of blood ran down the side of my face and pooled on the crook of my shoulder blade. Instantly I turned to face her, my training instincts taking over. But she was distracted by the wound she inflicted.

"I… I hurt you…" she mewed softly. I relaxed my muscles slightly, mostly from sheer confusion. She _had_ hurt me; I was bleeding. Obviously. But this was such a shock to me, to both of us. The wound did not hurt and clotted quickly, but my skin just hung there.

She was still staring at me. "What… Who are you…?" Her dark eyes almost seemed sad. "Why are you here?" I could tell the she was not concerned why _I_ was here. She wanted to know why _she_ was here, but her family did not know.

"I am Stonepaw, from Skyclan," I responded boldly, proudly.

"Skyclan…" she repeated. "Who is that?"

'Who is that?' What kind of question was that? She spoke with such naïveté. Her voice was laced with a strange accent, as if cat was not her native language.

I never answered her question.

Her sad eyes searched my face, and I almost expected her to dig her claws into my fur again. But instead, she said, "Your face. It… leaks…" She was referring to the blood, no doubt. It was cold and thick against my fur. I began to wash myself. She watched, her eyes darting from me to her family.

"I want to see you feel," she said at last. She motioned to the group of living cats. "They do not feel. They… do not see me." She spoke so slowly, choosing her word carefully. I looked up to find that she had padded up to me. Her crippled back legs seemed to glide over the earth. The slice on my shoulder was clean, but she insisted on nosing the wound. She was almost violent with it, and if I had been alive, I would have been writhing in pain.

"I woke up here. They did not see me. They used to see me, but now they do not," she mewed.

"I was there when you died," I responded quickly. "I saw what happened. I tried to stop it, but I couldn't."

"Died…" she repeated emptily. Her face twisted into a blank look.

"Yes, when you died. Your mother…" I stopped. She doesn't know that her mother killed her. "When you… stopped feeling." I used her own words. "When you… got that wound." I pointed to her underside, careful not to touch her. That tear turned my stomach. She looked down to her hanging skin. As she moved, I imagined that I could see her rib cage.

He eyes darted nervously back to her family. I could tell that she longed to be near them, even if they didn't know she was there. But she had no place with them. I just didn't know if she understood that yet.

Her family rose and began to pad into the brush. Her anxious eyes followed. "Come with me," she mewed. "Please. Come." I could not leave her. It has only been about a month since my death, or so I thought, and I had not realized how lonely I was until just recently. I nodded without much hesitation.

As we ran, I watched her back paws. They looked so wrong as they flew over the earth, almost like a dream. She did not even seem to notice her disability. I guess it not a disability, really, unless it's disabling. If her mother could only see her now, maybe she would have been able to live.

But if she lived, she would never have been able to run like she was this very moment.

I almost collided with her as she slowed. Her family had shimmied under a rocky outcrop and settled in for the night. I could see the wind ruffling their fur as they huddled together, but I felt no colder than I had been recently. The kitten curled herself up beside her family, her deep eyes watching them intently. As her father shifted, he brushed the black kitten's fur. I saw him shiver once and glance behind him before forgetting the incident all together.

"Why do you stay with them?" I asked suddenly. I was completely unaware that I was even speaking.

Her head was pressed firmly to the ground. She glanced at me without lifting it. "Where do I go?" she said softly.

I knew what she was trying to say, even with her lack of language skills. She is in the same situation as I, trapped here between worlds. And unlike me, she wants to hold on to her life. I'm envious of her for a few moments until I remembered her death. She doesn't know that she was not wanted. She wished to stay close to the family she loves, though they don't love her.

I dug my claws into the earth. Through the night, I could see her watching them sleep. The mother wrapped her body around her two kittens, the only two kittens whom she would ever accept. I almost felt sick.

When the morning sun began to peak through the tree branches, the first kitten awoke. It squirmed and mewed, but the mother did not awake. It managed to wriggle free from the sleeping adults and began to stumble away. My companion watched more intently than I, and her eyes longed for her mother to wake.

The kitten neared the fringe of a rocky ledge. The black cat leaped to her feet and lunged at her living sibling's body. Her paws fell straight through the kitten's head; it felt nothing. She watched in horror as little paws stumbled on the rocky, unstable surface. The black cat pawed at her, desperate to stop its fall. But she could not.

Its paws crumbled and it disappeared over the edge of the cliff. If I would have blinked, I would have missed the entire event. I was to my paws before I even knew the severity of what had happened. The black kitten screamed. Her voice echoed through the trees, boiling all of the liquid in my body.

I heard a shuffling sound followed by a low, frightened hiss. "Ignis? Ignis, did you hear that?"

The voice was followed by a shushing noise. "It sounds too distant," the male responded.

The shuffling continued. "Jasmine! I can't find Jasmine!" The female sprung to her feet, the other kitten rolling limply to the ground. I turned back to her dead daughter, but she was nowhere in sight.

She had gone over the edge.

Not three tail-lengths down, I could see her think black form pawing at her sister's body. The black cat called out for help as she attempted to lift the body. The little body was breathing way too quickly, shallowly, almost unnaturally, and I feared that she would pass out.

I turned to the mother. Swiftly, I picked a pebble up between my teeth and threw it at her. It hit her flank with a dull thud. She looked my direction as I threw another one. With almost a fearful curiosity in her eyes, she came towards me. She continued to call out her daughter's name.

The injured kitten needed help immediately. I approached the mother and swatted at her face. No response. I clawed at her. No response. Finally, as she passed me, I gripped my teeth firmly into her tail and tugged. She turned and flicked her tail as if an insect had landed on it.

She had felt it. I bent my head down and rammed her. If she was going to fall, I was going to have her fall towards the downed kitten.

And she did just that.

Almost instantaneously, the father was on her heals. He caught her just as she stumbled. It had done the trick. The couple saw their fallen kitten on the rocks below. My black companion crouched beside it. She backed away as her parents attended to her sister.

"She still feels," she whispered to me as she approached. Her eyes were bright with excitement. They had managed to calm the kitten easily, something I knew I could have done if I were alive.

It is a good thing that they found the kitten when they did. But they did because of the contact I made with them. And my companion's scream had woken her mother. They _could_ feel us. And with a little effort, maybe they could even _communicate _with us.

I knew my next step. I had to return to Skyclan. I had to find my sister. I had to tell her I was alright.

I would have to make contact with the other side…


	6. Chapter Six

_((I told you this would happen. Once again, I have completely forgotten about this story. I cut this chapter short so I could get something to you guys, but I promise to _**try** _to write some more next time. Sorry, again, but I hope you all keep reading (when I eventually update, that is)...))_

But convincing my companion was not going to be an easy task. She did not like the idea at all, and I think that she even took some offence. She was still completely oblivious to the fact that she was orphaned. For three days we followed her family further and further from Skyclan territory. I began to show my anxiousness.

"Please," I would beg her. "It's not a long trek." But she would not agree to anything of the sort. As much as I wanted to stay with her, I longed even more to share my newly-found abilities with my living sister.

Even so, I stayed with the kitten, and I learned much about her. She had to past, true. Nor did she have a future. But I observed her personality, her habits (or rather the habits she would have eventually gained). She was a very colorful character. She liked morning mist and the pink sky at night. She liked how the grass folded in the breeze. But everything she knew could only come from what she saw. She would never be able to taste or feel or smell.

On the fourth day, I told her I was leaving to find my clan. Her eyes held a deep sense of longing to go with me, but she could not separate herself from her family.

And so that was that. We went our separate ways. I wished to her that we would one day cross paths again.

The hike back to Skyclan territory went quickly. I made no stops, for I needed not to rest or eat. I walked in sunlight and in darkness. It only took me one and a half days.

The camp was just as I remember it. Dirty and drab. It was home.

And my sister, her beautiful white pelt seemed to shimmer in the sunlight. I padded up to her and pressed my cold, lifeless flank onto her. Though quickly, I drew away. I wished not to take any of her life away from her.

"Cloudtear!" interrupted a voice. A small, ginger tom approached her, head down. "Cloudtear, I wondered… if you would share prey with me today…" His voice was as weak as his demeanor.

My radiant sister sighed. "No, Sunpaw," she responded. She was so blunt and abrasive. I was almost sure this was not my sibling.

Cloudtear? I was proud that she had become a warrior; I would have loved to be there for her. But who choose that name for her? Surely this was some sort of mistake on our leader's part. What would make my wonderful sister deserve such a depressed name? I watched her through my lifeless eyes. She made no effort to be friendly towards any of her clanmates. Her bright, blue eyes seemed to be a few shades darker. And, looking at her then, her trademark fur was matted and unkempt. She was falling apart. Was it because of my disappearance?

"Cloudpaw…" I whispered into her ear. "Please Snowpaw, can you hear me?" She made no response, so I resorted to yelling. "Cloudpaw!" My sister's ear twitched, but she did not respond. I batted at her face, only to realize how stupid that decision was. Of course she could not feel me.

The sun had already begun to set. Isn't it thought that ghost come out at night? Maybe I could see her in that darkness. I thin strip of light shot through the clouds only to be followed by a low, angry rumble. My sister looked up, sighed, and retreated to her den.

Before following her, I poked my head into the apprentices den. The mound of moss that was my nest still stood, but I was sure it belonged to someone else now. The nest beside mine belonged to Ashpaw, my best friend. I had not seen him recently, and I wondered what had become of him.

A thin, gray form answered my question. Ashpaw entered and, with a loud yell, proceeded to wake Daisypaw. She was still as beautiful as I remembered. "Great Starclan, Ashpaw!" she mewed in her light voice. "I thought you were a monster!" Ashpaw only responded with an arrogant snort and retreated back into the camp.

Daisypaw huddled in her den, eyes darting from side to side. I turned to leave, but a gasp stopped me in my tracks. "Is anyone there?" she whispered.

"Daisypaw?" I responded.

Her eyes opened wider. "Who are you?"

Great Starclan, she could hear me! And very clearly, too…

I approached her and began to speak into her ear. "I am Stonepaw. Do you remember me, Daisypaw?"

"S… Stonepaw?" She began to shiver, possibly from my icy aura, most likely from fear. "You're dead…" That last sentence was nothing more than a statement.

"Yes, I am," I responded. "And you can hear me." My sentence was also a statement. "Look, Daisypaw. I need to talk to Cloudpaw. Could you help me?"

She shivered again and nodded vigorously. I could see the look of complete fear in her eyes; I could smell it on her, too. "How?" she asked quietly.

I paused to think. Why could she hear me clearly and no one else could? Why could the rouges hear me only slightly, but my sister did not even shift positions when I spoke?

I shook my head slowly. "I don't know, Daisypaw… I don't know…"


	7. Chapter Seven

Night always seemed to be darker from my nest, but never was I afraid. I would always have Ashpaw by my side and my sister. Plus, I would have to be brave for Daisypaw. The two of us would leave camp at night sometimes. She would always protest, saying that she would not be able to live with herself if we were caught, but I would always reassure her. We never were able to be alone together during the day. Being the daughter of our current leader, Crackedstar would never have let Daisypaw be near me. He had high expectations for his beautiful daughter, and becoming my mate was not one of them. Who would want to be the mate of a rouge's son, anyway?

Cloudpaw never had the same problem, though. She was always so intelligent and perfect. At least in my eyes, she was. I was just a few minutes older, mother used to tell me, so I would always go out of my way to protect her. My mother, Felledsky, was spat upon when my father, the former deputy Iceclaw, finally convinced Greenstar to allow her to join our clan. At the time, Greenstar had no idea that my mother was pregnant with Iceclaw's children. She also did not know that she was to die of disease right after our birth. My father had no idea that he would also lose his life to a falling tree not a moon before we were born. My mother had passed away giving birth to the two of us.

I glanced at Daisypaw. She was asleep, but it was very a shallow sleep. I told her that I would wake her at moonhigh. I needed to think, and her incisive shivering was not doing me any good.

Why can Daisypaw hear every word I say to her?

Idea One: We were close when I was alive... But then again, I was even closer to Cloudpaw.

Idea Two: She is younger than Cloudpaw, and therefore more naïve… In actuality, she and Cloudpaw are very close in age.

Idea Three: Maybe Cloudpaw has given up the hope that I am alive, while Daisypaw still believes I can be found.

Idea Four (Continuation of Idea Three): Maybe she accepted that I was dead long before the rest of the clan, but expected me to return as a ghost.

And we have a winner.

She always used to speak about spirits in the forest and magic. She would tell me how sometimes she could hear her mother's voice as she slept. I would always brush off these ideas as crazy ramblings. I never knew my mother, but she lost her mother not too long ago.

Why could she hear me? I chuckled to myself. Simple. Superstition…

"Daisypaw," I whispered into her ear. "Convince Cloudpaw… Cloudtear that my spirit is here to speak to her." Daisypaw nodded. So she was not actually asleep. "Do it tomorrow, and I will back at sunset." She nodded again and continued to shiver.

Daisypaw had always been an excellent speech-maker. She could convince anyone that the sky was red, so long as they never looked up. I began to dream about what I was going to say to Cloudpaw. I would tell her about the two-leg and the black kitten. I would tell her about the decaying tortoiseshell she-cat. I even began to imagine that I could smell that vial creature's odor. But it was so strong, it could not be my imagination. I followed the smell out of the apprentice's den and through the entrance of the camp.

There trekking through the forest were fifty or so cats. All of them were dead. Some were fairly fresh but showed the first signs of decay. Many of the souls lacked tails or lower jaws or maybe a leg or two. Some even needed to be dragged along by another cat. These cats owned nothing more than a torso. One was even just a head.

As I stared on in complete horror, a creature padded up beside me and placed its putrid head on my shoulder. I recoiled and heaved once. "Follow us," she rasped as if she had breathed nothing but smoke when she was alive. "We know where you want to go, and we will take you there."

I shook my head and shivered from disgust. She was missing both of her ears, an eye, and half of the skin on her chest. She made the tortoiseshell she-cat seem beautiful. "No, thank you," I responded as I backed away.

"Why not, pet?" She began to approach. "We are your friends." Two more creatures approached me from behind. One of them stepped down hard onto my tail. I was immobile.

"Do you think that they are going to want you around now that you are dead?" came a male voice. It was low and fresh, but the mouth in which it came from lacked both teeth and a tongue.

Another voice followed. "Please. Come with us," it whispered. "We need you. You are so… fresh…" A different female ran her tongue along my cheek. It left behind a sticky residue. I heaved again.

"Cloudpaw…" I began. "Cloudpaw!" I continued to yell my sister's name louder and louder. But the head which poked its self out of the camp entrance was not my sister's. It was Daisypaw. She shuttered and passed out, landing on the dirt ground with a painful thud. I continued to be dragged further and further into the crowd of zombified cats.

I was shocked when my sister did appear at the mouth of the camp. How she had heard Daisypaw fall over the sound of screaming ghosts was beyond me. But then, I remembered that she could not see ghosts nor hear them. As the cats dragged me into the river of souls, I wildly flailed my claws, hoping to catch onto something. I continued to scream her name.

My rusting must have done the trick, for Cloudpaw began to approach slowly. "Is… is anyone there? " she mewed.

"Cloudpaw!" I screamed as loud as I could. "I am your brother. I'm Stonepaw!"

Her ears pricked slightly. "Stonepaw?" she mewed. "Did you say Stonepaw?" Her eyes began to light. "Stonepaw, you are alive?"

I fended a ghost cat off with my claws, leaving behind three greenish slashes on the creature and gaining a pawful of ooze. "No, Cloudpaw. I'm not." I clawed at another ghost. "I can't come back, but remember that I love you, and I want you to keep living. Can you do that for me?"

She shook her head. "Stonepaw, I can't hear you. Where are you?" Tears began to form in her eyes. "I miss you."

I didn't have much time. "Live for me!" I yelled to her before I was sucked into the stream of cats. I knew she heard it from the expression on her face. She spoke again, but I could no longer hear her.

A thick, blue aura engulfed me as if the convoy was surrounded by water. Around me, the ghost cats had become as beautiful as they were in life. I felt my head become light and fuzzy, and I followed the other cats of my own free will.

_((Well, there was a little more action in this chapter than usual. I'll try to stay away from the long, rambling, uneventful chapters and try to add a bit more action from now on. And remember to review! It's what keeps me going!))_


	8. Chapter Eight

_((It happened _again_! I even had this chapter written for a good month, and I just completely forgot to post it... I feel so bad...)) _

Moons passed, but I was completely oblivious to time. The creatures around me became my friends, and I learned each of their stories. Never once did the black kitten cross my mind.

This group vaguely acted like a clan of some sorts, I thought. There were many cats, young and old, led by one cat. But the lead cat was only choosing the direction in which the group walked and none of the members died. In the mask of the blue aura, I could not see myself deteriorating, something which I wish I could have seen now that I think about it. It would have saved me the shock.

"Look, furry gray one!" one of my companions called to me. She had been born in the dead of leaf-bare and did not make it to morning. "This lake is where I used to live when I was of the living." The lake was even bluer through our mist. A lone white cat sat staring into the pool, alive. Our convoy did not disturb her as we all walked through her.

Another of my "clan" mates, a well-built tabby tom, showed me his territory as we passed through scrubby two-leg territory. He had been the lone stray here, receiving many names from the two-leg inhabitants.

I think two lifetimes had passed as I walked with the creatures. One day, a small black she-cat stared at us as we passed. Her eyes were the brightest shade of green I had ever seen; I could see their color through the blue mist. My heart leaped as I thought of the black kitten. My silver companion approached her and began to speak to, just has she had to me. The black kitten had found me, I thought. She can back for me. But then I remembered that my black kitten had dark eyes.

This was no doubt her mother.

"Not wanted by multiple two-legs, I see," cooed my silver clan mate. The black cat (Nyx, I remember she was called in life) was being led into the blue stream. She came by herself, as if she welcomed the horribly disfigured cats. "That case is all too common," continued the silver ghost. "Too many names, the Gods don't know where you belong."

"Nyx?" I whispered as she passed.

The black she-cat froze. "How did you know my name?" she responded in a surprisingly cool manner.

"I…" I paused. "I have met you daughter."

Nyx's bright green eyes lit up. "Jasmine? Rose?" She broke away from her silver tour guide. "You've seen my daughters? How are they?"

"No, Nyx," I explained. "I've meet your _other_ daughter. The one with the dark eyes and the black fur…" And angry edge crept into my voice. "The one with the deformed legs. The one _you _killed that night!" She seemed taken aback. Had she really forgotten about her third daughter?

The black mother approached me, a look of hatred in her eyes. "There were many things lost that night, things that I need not tell you about. My last born daughter was misshapen, yes. And as rouges we must run to survive." Her nose was now almost touching mine. Her voice became dark and serious, almost at a whisper. "Do you really think she would have survived long? I was doing her a favor."

"A favor!" I responded. I did not realize I was now shouting. "It was a life. _Her_ life. You had no right to take it."

She snorted. "Those kits had a right to take part of my life, though. Didn't they?" I did not respond to this; I could only stare on at her with eyes full of disgust. She paused to let the moment simmer around her before she began to stalk off.

Once of my companions approached me, a small tabby. "You know, she has a point," he stated. And with sentence, I turned and clawed a pawful of fur out of his side. He yowled in surprise though no wound showed on his flank.

I lunged onto Nyx's back out of pure rage. Finally, I could touch her, hurt her. She hissed and rolled onto her side. I hit the ground with a thud. She was over top me before I could recover and sank her teeth into my leg. I yowled as she bit deep enough to touch bone. My front paws claws unsheathed, and I dug repeatedly into her flank. As her teeth withdrew from my skin, I stood to face her.

By now, the entire convoy of cats caught wind of the fight and came to watch. As I met eyes with a few of them, I could see looks of confusion. "Long furred one," came a strong male voice. "What would be the problem?"

I uttered a low hiss. "None of you understand the value of life, do you? None of you remember your lives like I do." I closed my eyes and began to think of Cloudpaw and Daisypaw and the rest of my clan. "None of you had anything that you wanted to live for, did you?"

A few mouths hung open as if they wanted to say something but nothing would come out. They knew what I had said was spot on. "What does it matter?" one of them finally asked. "We're stuck here now, and we will be forever."

"Yes, there is no way to get out of Purgatory," another cat mewed. "And what relevance does this have to you? There is no way to interact with the living world once you choose to come with us."

It suddenly dawned on me that I never was able to exit the blue stream once I entered it. Was this some sort of force that kept me inside? Or was it something else? Ignoring the last cat's question, I attempted to pass my paw out into the living world. As my claws grazed the edge of the blue mist, a shock uttered trough my body. Instantly, I felt as if I should stop my attempts to leave and return to the group. It was as if something had changed my mind for me.

"My apologies, friends," I stated with my head down. That same fuzzy feeling filled my skull. "It will not happen again…"

But as we walked, slowly my sanity returned to me. What did that one cat say? "Choose to come with us". Choose. I had not chosen to come with the group; I was dragged into the convoy. Maybe that gave me a better chance to get out.

The black kitten was thick in my mind as I began to surrender my paw to the blue mist. The same feeling of laziness surrounded me, but the need to reach the black kitten was stronger. My body slid out of the blue film carefully and slowly until I was free. The blue mist lapped at my heels, begging me to return to it, and I felt the need to put as much space between it and me as soon as possible.

When I found the black kitten, I would have to thank her.


	9. Chapter Nine

It seems my life has come to this. Walking. Walking on circles, in straight lines. I couldn't tell the difference anymore. In the day and night, through rain and blazing heat. I felt none of it, and it could not feel me. What a horrible existence, just because of a lost name. Why are they so important, names? They are just a way of creating a difference between to beings. They don't define us nor plot our paths in life. They don't specify who we love or what we lose. They are just labels.

But I guess they mean everything to a dead cat. But really, when the world means nothing, one is desperate for something to hold on to. For me, it's my warrior name.

After eons of walking, I came to a steep drop off. Below, water lapped angrily at jagged rocks. I watched it for a while, frozen in fascination. Then, with one movement of my foot, I stepped off and plummeted towards the furious waves. My body hit a sharp rock with a thud, though I could not feel it pierce through my skin and into my rib cage. I pulled myself free. A large hole had formed in my chest, right where my heart had been. And I began to laugh.

I was still chuckling an hour later when I pulled myself to shore. It seems that when you are dead, a surface is a surface. Whether it's dirt or water, you can walk on it like it's solid. After a long moment of staring at my feet hovering over the sandy shore, I continued to walk, head down. Where I was going, where my territory was, I did not know. And I still to this day don't know where I am. All I can say is that it's not Starclan.

What I did not realize was that my body was decomposing with every step I took. The large hole in my chest remained with me, along with the slit in my stomach that the black kitten had made. My claws also continued to grow, and because they were the only thing that I watched as I walked, I could not notice the change. In short, I was an absolutely horrid mess.

And when I finally met another ghost cat, they took a notice to this fact. A loud, jeering voice came from above me, young and spirited. "There's no way that you can still be alive with that battle scar," said the voice. "What you do? Get bitten by a monster?" I looked up at the cat, a young male just as I had suspected. I tried to respond, but I had forgotten how to use my voice. I only nodded.

"Where you going, honey?" came another voice, just as young but higher. A small speckled she-cat. She pressed herself up next to the male, whose fur was as orange as the setting sun. Mates, I suspected.

I looked down at her question. Frankly, I did not know. But I'm sure the two had noticed that. The female was the first one to jump down from the rocky outcropping on which the young couple stood. She landed with a thud, and I could see that half of her pretty face was missing. She smiled when she saw my face. "A fire," she responded coolly. She motioned to the male. "He died the same way."

I paused for a moment as I tried to clear the back of my throat. "K-kittyp-p ..pets?" I managed to squeak out.

The female shook her head. "We were tribe cats turned rouges." She smiled again, the burnt side of her face wrinkling up. I now noticed that other sections of her body were charred as well. "The spirits didn't seem to like our choices very much, so they killed us and left us here as spirits ourselves."

I smiled and shook my head. They were so naïve in thinking that it was fate that kept them here. My eyes followed the female and then the male. "Do you have names?" I asked slowly.

The female smiled again. "Of course we do!" she cooed. "I'm… I'm… Oh, I can't seem to remember." She looked down at her paws, confused and slightly scared. The male jumped down to her side.

"I can't remember mine either," he added, the youth in his voice failing. "Do you have a name?"

I watched my paws for a few seconds as I wracked my brain. "No," I answered softly. "No, I don't…"

The couple was silent for a while before the female broke into another smile. "Not to worry. I'm sure it will come back to us." She motioned with her tail for us to follow. "We can't offer you food or a place to sleep, but we can offer you conversation for a while. Will you join us?" I nodded my head and followed her to the couple's den under a dirt overhand.

"Now," she began. "How did you come to be in this territory?"

I shook my head. "I don't know."

The male cocked his head. "Well, where did you come from?"

"I don't know." I closed my eyes and drooped my head. Couldn't I remember anything of my old life? Suddenly, my head sprang upward. The words, "Black kitten," escaped my throat.

"Black kitten?" the male asked with a hint of humor in his voice. "Is that where you come from? Or is that your name?"

The female giggled. "No, that's his mate's name!"

I shook my head. "She's a friend. And I need to find her."

The male nodded seriously. "We could help you, if you'd like. What does she look like?"

I closed my eyes again and tried to picture her. Surprisingly, her image was as clear in my head as if she was standing in front of my. "She's black, with a single white spot on her chest. And deep brown eyes." I paused as I tried to remember more of her. "And her back legs are… wrong. Mutilated."

The couple nodded. "And she's dead?" asks the male.

"Not as much as I," I finished tiredly.


End file.
